The names of 225 things in Halo, ranked



Is Halo serious, majestic sci-fi? The monks chanting on its title screen and space ships with names like Pillar of Autumn say yes. Is Halo also incredibly goofy? Bunny hopping around a map called Beaver Creek says yes, indeed. Halo’s developers had a knack for naming things. There are so many standout names in Halo, particularly among its ships and campaign missions, that we decided to list the very best of them. And then we got carried away and decided to just rank them all.

There are a lot of things in Halo with names. Basically everything has a name, it turns out. Using the criteria of “trying to include more things will make us cry,” we chose to rank the following things: 

  • Every campaign mission from Halo 1-5
  • Ships and vehicles that appeared in Halo 1-5
  • Every multiplayer map from Halo 1-5
  • The Covenant
  • AI and titles, e.g. The Arbiter

This rigorous selection process excludes weapon names, because frankly the human weapons are a mess of slightly varied designations that are all very boring (shout-out to the Needler and the Needler only, which would have otherwise ranked #27). It also excludes some more random objects and equipment (Man Cannons would be Top 10 material) and the Promethean enemies from Halo 4-5 because we forgot about them, and to be honest their names are all pretty boring.

The process of ranking these names followed a derivative of the Scientific Method called the Cool Method: We spent about an hour and a half in a video chat saying things like “Meridian Station sounds cool, but is it cooler than Winter Contingency?” and “is Backwash a terrible name, or an incredible name?” and eventually the order was perfected. 

Here are 225 names of things from Halo, in order from coolest to least cool.

  1. In Amber Clad – Among Halo’s many majestic ship names, none is as wondrous, as regal, as this. The sheer chutzpah to use ‘clad’ in a name and pull it off
  2. The Silent Cartographer
  3. Pillar of Autumn
  4. Blood Gulch – Now this is a place where killing is done
  5. Long Night of Solace
  6. Hang ‘Em High
  7. Halo (construct)
  8. Zanzibar
  9. Foe Hammer – No one else in Halo has a call-sign because this one was too good
  10. Forward Unto Dawn
  11. Cortana
  12. 343 Guilty Spark – There has never been a better name for a prissy robot
  13. Ascendant Justice
  14. High Charity – The Prophets are space televangelists, so this ship name is almost too real
  15. 2401 Penitent Tangent
  16. The Gravemind
  17. Say My Name
  18. Beaver Creek – Surely an inside joke that somehow shipped
  19. Truth and Reconciliation
  20. The Arbiter
  21. Coagulation
  22. Two Betrayals
  23. Mantis
  24. The Pit
  25. Shadow of Intent
  26. Winter Contingency
  27. Gungoose – You can’t have a bad time on a gungoose
  28. Warthog
  29. Banshee
  30. Danger Canyon – Sounds like a Dukes of Hazzard location, so bonus cool points here
  31. Reclaimer
  32. Swords of Sanghelios
  33. Seraph
  34. The Maw
  35. Sierra 117
  36. Kikowani Station
  37. Battle of Sunaion
  38. Noble Actual
  39. Spirit of Fire
  40. Meridian Station
  41. Assault on the Control Room – If Halo were a ’70s pulp sci-fi movie, this would be the title
  42. Boarding Action
  43. Ghost
  44. Jackals
  45. Grunts
  46. Mongoose
  47. Tsavo Highway
  48. Longbow
  49. Prophets
  50. Brutes
  51. Song of the East
  52. Feeling Lucky – Captain “Dirty” Harry Callahan
  53. Shatter
  54. Forerunners
  55. Mombasa Streets
  56. Elites
  57. Hunters – If you think about it, they don’t really hunt shit
  58. Drones
  59. Engineers
  60. Glassed – Such an evocative way to describe the mass slaughter of an entire planet
  61. Backwash
  62. New Alexandria
  63. The Great Journey
  64. Perdition
  65. Ivory Tower
  66. Tayari Plaza
  67. Turf – Comma, beefin’ over
  68. Rat’s Nest
  69. High Ground
  70. Cold Storage
  71. Last Resort
  72. Halo (Halo 3 mission)
  73. Epitaph
  74. Sand Trap
  75. Sacred Icon
  76. Pelican
  77. Lone Wolf
  78. The Ark 
  79. Chill Out – *bong rip*
  80. Floodgate
  81. Elongation
  82. ONI: Sword Base
  83. Damnation
  84. Indulgence of Conviction
  85. Cairo Station
  86. Relic
  87. Tombstone
  88. Heretic
  89. Pious Inquisitor
  90. Revenant
  91. Chopper
  92. Sabre
  93. Chiron TL-34 – George Lucas wannabee
  94. The Didact
  95. Sanctuary
  96. Prepare To Drop
  97. The Storm
  98. Headlong
  99. Warlock
  100. Lich
  101. Song of Retribution
  102. The Breaking
  103. Delta Halo
  104. The Covenant
  105. Ascension
  106. Longest – Longest WHAT??
  107. Kizingo Boulevard
  108. Composer
  109. Burial Mounds
  110. Warlord
  111. Zenith
  112. Scarab
  113. Longshore
  114. Day of Jubilation
  115. Nightfall
  116. Wraith
  117. Pitfall
  118. The Heretic
  119. The Oracle
  120. Seeker of Truth
  121. Halo (Halo 1 mission) – Naming the second mission in the game after the name of the game? Too soon!
  122. Falcon
  123. Blue Team – Bonus points if you’ve read like 10 Halo novels
  124. Regret
  125. Impact
  126. Exile
  127. Arrival
  128. Haven
  129. Harvest
  130. Construct
  131. Foundry
  132. Guardians
  133. Guardian
  134. Daybreak
  135. Orbital
  136. Erosion
  137. Colossus
  138. Standoff
  139. Landfall
  140. Isolation
  141. Lockout
  142. Blackout
  143. ONI Alpha Site
  144. Wizard – Dropped 50 spots cuz Destiny
  145. Desolation
  146. Uprising
  147. Enemy Lines 
  148. Bloodline
  149. Meltdown
  150. Containment
  151. Before the Storm
  152. Vortex
  153. Stonetown
  154. Solemn Penance – This ship just sounds like a bummer
  155. Tip of the Spear
  156. Crow’s Nest
  157. Sandbox
  158. Foundation
  159. Midship
  160. The Library
  161. Complex
  162. Citadel
  163. Osiris
  164. Requiem
  165. Narrows
  166. Scorpion
  167. Dawn 
  168. Phantom
  169. Genesis
  170. Uplift Reserve
  171. Terminal
  172. Shadow
  173. Valhalla – A great map but Odin deserves the naming credit here
  174. Ragnarok
  175. Uplift
  176. Adrift
  177. Prowler
  178. Prisoner
  179. Spirit
  180. Avalanche
  181. Abandon
  182. Ravine
  183. Quarantine – Weird this doesn’t look like my house
  184. Phaeton
  185. Gemini
  186. Solace
  187. Midnight
  188. NMPD HQ
  189. Timberland
  190. Wreckage
  191. Rat Race
  192. The Package
  193. Sidewinder
  194. The Armory
  195. Exodus
  196. Derelict 
  197. Skyline
  198. Lockdown
  199. Coastal Highway – Couldn’t even bother to name it
  200. Elephant
  201. Mammoth – Compared to the warthog, this is ultimately bland
  202. Broadsword
  203. Longsword
  204. Infinity – From Pillar of Autumn to this?
  205. Shutdown
  206. Reunion
  207. Evacuation
  208. Unconfirmed
  209. Outskirts 
  210. Metropolis
  211. Hornet
  212. Shrine
  213. Wasp
  214. Vertigo
  215. Battle Creek
  216. Ice Fields
  217. Alliance
  218. Assembly
  219. Snowbound
  220. District
  221. Forge Island
  222. Waterworks – This ain’t Monopoly
  223. Death Island – Did a five-year-old name this map?
  224. Unyielding Hierophant – The tryhard parody version of Covenant ship names
  225. Gephyrophobia – An unpronounceable multiplayer map. Truly shameful

Escorte galati

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